My mother, Lim Swee Yin, was born in Mambau, a small town in Negeri Sembilan in 1919. She had Peranakan roots and was raised to put “family first”. She was baptized Anna only in 1985 after recovering from a stroke.
Though her formal education was rudely interrupted by the Japanese Occupation, like all mothers, she wanted her 3 children to be much better off than herself. She worked hard to save. During CNY she made Nonya cookies to earn extra money so that when we went to further our studies in other towns for Form 6 or University, she was able to buy us motorcycles for our transport needs.
She had been fairly healthy until the age of 60 when she had an extensive stroke which affected the right side of her body. Whilst it impaired her speech, she recovered physically, and her movements improved through constant and daily exercises. She was determined to get well. She supervised the maid and looked after her 3 grandchildren after that.
Age related maladies then started to creep up on her. She had a fall and had a hip replacement in her 80s. Her determination to be independent helped her adapt herself to a Zimmerman frame. What was most debilitating was the Restless Leg Syndrome which affected her sleep patterns. Even though going for regular check-ups involved long waiting times, she was happy for those “outings”. Her body was a pharmacy of medication for all her ailments. She was however still able to enjoy her food with just bouts of listlessness and loss of appetite. As she progressed to her nineties, her speech ability worsened. That frustrated her greatly and reduced her to episodes of tears.
In early 2016 however, we noticed a change. She wanted to go to the hospital, but couldn’t tell us why she wanted to do so. One day we noticed she couldn’t lift her left arm. The stroke had left a permanent damage to her speaking ability, but now we noticed that her mind was foggier and she had lost control of her right arm. We suspected she had another mini stroke that came on very slowly and surreptitiously. She had difficulty swallowing. That started a downhill trend of her health and subsequently her will to live. By July 2016 she was reduced to skin and bones. It was difficult watching her fade away.
A church friend suggested we contact AsPaC for help. Soon Dr Lalitha and her team came to assess my mother and from then on their visits to check on her became fairly regular. We were able to call them if we faced problems and they would always respond. When we were at crossroads in making decisions, their Counsellor, Sr Kristin, would counsel us to take one day at a time and to make my mother as comfortable as possible. She advised us to bring her for walks in the park for fresh air and a change of environment. When she couldn’t swallow, the team would recommend a blended diet of all kinds of potatoes and vegetables and protein, ice-cream, milk drinks and yogurt, all given in morsels according to my mother’s ability to swallow. The nurses who attended to her were the most gentle and loving. They undertook the meanest of tasks just to make my mother comfortable. Nurse Roohini was a gem. Nurse Ong brought in the Ripple Mattress and fixed it up for her to prevent bed sores that were forming.
We were taught to care for our mother the way she should be cared for in the last days of her life. We never thought that she would leave us so soon because she had always been a fighter. She had survived 8 falls, had a pelvic joint replacement and learnt to walk with a frame. So, when she breathed her last on the night of Dec 21 at 9.40, it came as a shock. The day before she passed on, despite her frailty and uncertain whether she’ll be able to enjoy the air and sunshine in the park, I took a chance and propped her in her wheelchair and we completed 3 rounds. While she could not lift her head up, she was able to open her eyes to take in her surroundings.
At 97, she had given the best of her life to us; the 3 children and the grandchildren. We hope we have given our best to her at least in the last 6 months of her life.
We thank AsPaC for rendering palliative care and ensuring a peaceful journey for our mother Anna Lim Swee Yin. Finally, our mother has been granted perpetual peace, free from suffering and pain.